What is Sex? - Love? Part 2

Let's look at this from both perspective

The Good
A good relationship can change the world as you know it - for the better.
A positive relationship lets you be yourself as well as be a part of a couple.

The Bad
A sure sign, it's a bad relationship is when you feel like you can't be yourself, or perhaps, you feel pressured into doing things you're not comfortable with or that you wouldn't normally do. This kind of relationship is very damaging and sometimes could take sometime to heal from it, if its traumatic.

So, how do I know that I'm in a bad relationship? You need to know who you are, what you want and what you are comfortable with. Anything that interfere with who you really are, are worth 2nd or 3rd of 4th thoughts...

True love can last. I could start out like infatuation, but soon the difference will become clear. Loving someone means knowing who they are - their good and not so good qualities - and accepting it, and vice versa. It's about respecting (sometime sharing) their values, choices and feelings - ingredients of a great relationship.

Love also means, respecting your partner's space and time - knowing that your partner is emotionally there, even when they are not with you physically. You may, or may not choose to have sex with partner when you are a relationship. Yes, platonic relationship does exist. Just remember, there are many ways to express your love and affection for someone, sex is just of of those many ways. Just a reminder, choosing not to have sex doesn't mean you don't love each other. It just means that you've found other way to express your feelings !!!

What is Sex? - Love?

What is sex?
Love: Is it love?

Now, you've been asking yourself, how do I know if and when I've fallen in love, or if this is the person you want to have a sexual relationship with? I'm sorry, but love is another complicated matter, that there's no definite answer to it, nor could I give you a checklist or quiz that can tell you the answer whether you are in love, or whether you are ready to have sex. You need to find the answer within yourself, at how you feel about this person.

• Do you trust him/her?
• Do you enjoy being around him/her?
• Do you want to be intimate with him/her?
• Would you feel comfortable being naked in front of him/her?

What is Sex? - Your sexual health

What is sex?
Sexual health

Sexually healthy means you are free from disease, violence, injury, fear and false belief. It means that you are comfortable with your sexuality and be able to control and positively experience your own sexuality and reproduction system.

So ask yourself, are you?

Don't worry overmuch if you still have some questions need to be answered. You could mail me in malay if you wish. In fact I'm coming up with a malay version of this site. soon...

What is Sex?

What is Sex?

The question is, are YOU ready for it?
Sex is complicated issue, it comes with pleasure (or pain?) and definitely responsibility is attached to it, permanently. I want this blog to be an open discussion place for you to find your answers for a lot of questions that are running through your head even now.

But, that is growing up isn't it? It means, learning and experimenting. It also means, taking up responsibilities, and be accountable of your actions and choices. Deciding if, when and with who you want to have sex are tough, still they are your decisions to make and no one else's.

Your religion might taught you to wait until you are married, or maybe your parents forbid it. But being teenagers (yeah, I know), love to experiment. So, in the end, it's still your decision.

Before you decide against or pro it, consider all the benefits and the consequences. You might want to ask yourself:

1. Are you ready?
Nobody has the right to dictate you in this matter. If you are not ready, stand by your decision. Never ever let anybody under mind you, even your boyfriend/girlfriend !!! Yeah, yeah, I know he/she said that if you love him/her, you should let him/her have it... let me give you a wake up call, if you boyfriend/girlfriend really love you, he /she won't force you. Sex is not a tool to prove your love nor not having sex means that you don't love someone. I'm refer to both gender, because, sometimes, it's the girl who do the asking...
Another matter to consider, what does your religion dictates? If having sex will make you feel guilty for not abiding with your teaching, perhaps you should wait. Sex shouldn't be done with guilt...

2. Should you wait?
On the bring of making decision, if you feel even one tiny bit unsure whether you should have sex or not, stop there. This is a sure sign that you are actually not ready. Take a deep breath, and list down on a page, why do you think you should have sex, and on another paper why do you think you shouldn't have sex now. Sit on it for as long as you need. After all, its your body, and you have to take the consequences and responsibilities of you decision.

3.It takes two, is my partner ready yet?
You might feel that you are ready, but sex takes 2. The question is, is your partner ready yet? Have you talk to your partner about this and how he/she feels about it?

4.Safety first: are you protected?
Are protected enough? Do you use contraception? Or does contraception sound greek to you? If it does, this is a sure sign, nope, your are not ready yet. Learn more about how to protect both you and your partners, then decide...