In some cases, your fantasies are taking more of your time than you do on earth, or sometimes, your fantasies become to vivid that you feel like you have to act it in real life. If these are the cases, talk to someone you can trust and mature enough to help you sort out your feelings.
The bottom line is, do what you need to do to find your answers - read books, fantasize and ask your mature and trusted friend a lot of questions. If you are comfortable, talk to your doctor, school nurse or pharmacist, bear in mind, as long as you are not in danger to break the laws, whatever you told them is confidential. Getting answers to your questions help you grow and become a healthy, mature and sexual being.
You might think that its embarrasing to ask question about sex, but just think, if and when you decide to have sex, don't you want to be sure of it? that you've done your homework? If you think it's embarrassing to ask now, don't you think that it would be a lot more embarrassing later? especially if you made the wrong decision...
Monday, January 15, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
What is Sex? - Your Sexuality Part 2
Wet dreams
Sexy dreams could cause a guy to have an erection or sometimes ejaculate during his sleep. So when he wakes up, he find himself wet and sticky. The same occurs to girls too (accept you won't have an erection), but the amount of moisture produced is much less, therefore not as noticeable. Even though wet dreams are pretty common at your age, they don't happen to everybody. So don't fret if it doesn't happen to you.
Fantasies
It a safe way to explore your sexual desires. No, they are not weird, nor it means that whoever are having it are perverts (as long as they don't act it to someone who doesn't welcome it). So, don't feel guilty about having it. Fantasies help you explore yourself and your romantic feelings, without acting on it. They help you figure out what turn you on and what you feel comfortable the most, also what you don't. You learn what you want to do or don't want to do, and a lot of fantasies stay that way - fantasies. It is also normal for people to fantasize about things they wouldn't feel comfortable doing in real life. Or, sometimes, your fantasies can set a stage for real situations, and prepares you to act in a way that is true to yourself. They also allow you to imagine having sex - without the real life consequences if you do it physically.
Sexy dreams could cause a guy to have an erection or sometimes ejaculate during his sleep. So when he wakes up, he find himself wet and sticky. The same occurs to girls too (accept you won't have an erection), but the amount of moisture produced is much less, therefore not as noticeable. Even though wet dreams are pretty common at your age, they don't happen to everybody. So don't fret if it doesn't happen to you.
Fantasies
It a safe way to explore your sexual desires. No, they are not weird, nor it means that whoever are having it are perverts (as long as they don't act it to someone who doesn't welcome it). So, don't feel guilty about having it. Fantasies help you explore yourself and your romantic feelings, without acting on it. They help you figure out what turn you on and what you feel comfortable the most, also what you don't. You learn what you want to do or don't want to do, and a lot of fantasies stay that way - fantasies. It is also normal for people to fantasize about things they wouldn't feel comfortable doing in real life. Or, sometimes, your fantasies can set a stage for real situations, and prepares you to act in a way that is true to yourself. They also allow you to imagine having sex - without the real life consequences if you do it physically.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
What is Sex? - Your Sexuality
Your Sexuality
Understand your sexuality
Sex can be pretty confusing, but that's the challenge of learning. Your parents might have have told you that sex is a sacred act between two married people who really love each other very much. In my belief, it's true. But then, when you turn on your TV, VOILA !!! you see quite a different story isn't it? People having casual or meaningless sex, or perhaps use it to get revenge or to control people, or most of the time use it to advertise everything from a-z.
The point is, people are giving a lot of misinformation (bad information more like it) about sex. And while you may have already had 'The Sex Talk' with your parents, you may still have some question unanswered, or you were told, when the time comes you will know (I personally detest this answer). Your parents, teachers or doctors will be more than happy to answer, but then, this kinda stuff could be very embarrasing ( I have some vivid memories about this, but we'll get to it later)
Understand your sexuality
Sex can be pretty confusing, but that's the challenge of learning. Your parents might have have told you that sex is a sacred act between two married people who really love each other very much. In my belief, it's true. But then, when you turn on your TV, VOILA !!! you see quite a different story isn't it? People having casual or meaningless sex, or perhaps use it to get revenge or to control people, or most of the time use it to advertise everything from a-z.
The point is, people are giving a lot of misinformation (bad information more like it) about sex. And while you may have already had 'The Sex Talk' with your parents, you may still have some question unanswered, or you were told, when the time comes you will know (I personally detest this answer). Your parents, teachers or doctors will be more than happy to answer, but then, this kinda stuff could be very embarrasing ( I have some vivid memories about this, but we'll get to it later)
Monday, January 8, 2007
What is Sex? - Healthy Relationship Part 4
What is unhealthy relationship?
Unhealthy relationship is abusive relationship, physically and emotionally. Abusive relationship is about control, fear and lack of respect. Most of the time, one partner is in control while there other one cowers with fear and resentment. Abusive relationship can involves name callings, blaming, guilt-tripping, physical violence, threats or jealous questioning. Being in an abusive relationship will hurts your self-esteem.
If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, there's a good chance you actually are. Deep down, you might know that you are better off without the relationship, but feel unable to leave or afraid to do so. If that's the case, seek help from parents, counsellor, doctor, psychologist, social worker or any close friend. If the relationship becomes physically abusive, go to your local authority to get help and protection. You owe it to yourself to get out of the relationship.
Unhealthy relationship is abusive relationship, physically and emotionally. Abusive relationship is about control, fear and lack of respect. Most of the time, one partner is in control while there other one cowers with fear and resentment. Abusive relationship can involves name callings, blaming, guilt-tripping, physical violence, threats or jealous questioning. Being in an abusive relationship will hurts your self-esteem.
If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, there's a good chance you actually are. Deep down, you might know that you are better off without the relationship, but feel unable to leave or afraid to do so. If that's the case, seek help from parents, counsellor, doctor, psychologist, social worker or any close friend. If the relationship becomes physically abusive, go to your local authority to get help and protection. You owe it to yourself to get out of the relationship.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
What is Sex? - Healthy Relationship Part 3
Respect.
You have respect for each other. There's no superiority from either one of you and none of you should feel inferior. You respect each other's right to different opinions and ideas.
Enjoyment.
A great relationship is also about enjoying each other's company (if you don't enjoy your partner's company, what are you doing with that person anyway?). You feel energized and alive in your partner's presence. You can have fun, laugh and play together.
You have respect for each other. There's no superiority from either one of you and none of you should feel inferior. You respect each other's right to different opinions and ideas.
Enjoyment.
A great relationship is also about enjoying each other's company (if you don't enjoy your partner's company, what are you doing with that person anyway?). You feel energized and alive in your partner's presence. You can have fun, laugh and play together.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
What is Sex? - Healthy Relationship Part 2
Honesty.
No important things will be hidden from each other, and you can say what you are thinking with no fear of being ridiculed by your partner. You are also able to admit whenever you are in the wrong and be able to resolve your disagreements by talking about it openly with your partner.
Acceptance.
Accept each other as you really are. You appreciate each other's uniqueness' and don't try to fix them. If you find that you don't like your partner's uniqueness, you shouldn't be with that person.
No important things will be hidden from each other, and you can say what you are thinking with no fear of being ridiculed by your partner. You are also able to admit whenever you are in the wrong and be able to resolve your disagreements by talking about it openly with your partner.
Acceptance.
Accept each other as you really are. You appreciate each other's uniqueness' and don't try to fix them. If you find that you don't like your partner's uniqueness, you shouldn't be with that person.
Monday, January 1, 2007
What is Sex? - Healthy Relationship
What is sex?
Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself and your partner and vice versa. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner can be yourselves and have good fun together. Every relationship is different and there is really no blue print of a great and healthy relationship. However, all relationship share this 5 great qualities:
Safety.
You'll feel safe in a healthy relationship. There's no need to worry of your partner harming you, physically or emotionally, at the same time, you are also not tempted to harm your partner. You can change your mind on something and tell your partner the truth without fearing how your partner will respond to you.
Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself and your partner and vice versa. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner can be yourselves and have good fun together. Every relationship is different and there is really no blue print of a great and healthy relationship. However, all relationship share this 5 great qualities:
Safety.
You'll feel safe in a healthy relationship. There's no need to worry of your partner harming you, physically or emotionally, at the same time, you are also not tempted to harm your partner. You can change your mind on something and tell your partner the truth without fearing how your partner will respond to you.
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